In February 2008, then presidential candidate Barack Obama said something that was at once disconcerting and familiar:
“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”
Disconcerting because the words assume mass disconnection from ourselves. Familiar, because the disembodiment from where we actually are and the place we want to be is exquisitely human – as is the desperate desire to span that gap.
Fat people (I was one, and am still of dubious BMI) are champions of making the person we are shape shift into where we would like to be.
Every child of an alcoholic guesses at what normal is, and tries to connect a wildly distorted family life with some assumed measure of happiness. A 60 year old friend, whose mother and alcoholic father were long dead, once noted to me; “I can make my childhood happy if I remember it that way.”
There is a way we all deal with problematic realities that simply re-frames them: “Magical Thinking.”